Cricketing Clerihews
Undaunted by the ructions caused by my previous attempt (now removed) to have a bit of fun by posting a few clerihews, I’ve decided to try again but this time the target is cricketers.
Please keep them polite, unless they’re about Australians. Bonus points to anyone who manages one about Ben Hilfenhaus. Here are a few to get you started:
If you see Nathan Hauritz
Starting to glower, it’s
Because a humdinger
Hit his right index finger
Andrew Flintoff
Was man-of-the-match by dint of
Some excellent bowling
Well worth extolling
Peter Siddle
Went for a piddle
And when he came back
He’d quite lost the knack
Alastair Cook
Likes to go for the hook
But when it’s more full
He goes for the pull
Andrew Strauss
May have raised a few doubts:
It was well worth a shout
But should have been “not out”..
Michael Clarke
Batted well in the dark
But looked like a chump
When he lost his off stump
Michael Hussey
Is not very fussy
Whether he edges or nicks
Or just wallops for six
Philip Hughes
Can never refuse
An offside dab
That the slips might just grab
Marcus North
Bravely marched forth
To face the England attack
But very soon marched back
Graham Onions
Bowls like he has bunions
But let there be – please –
A bowler called Cheese
In the Dark 
July 22, 2009 at 7:58 pm
Bradley Haddin
Batted not bad in
The evening murk
But next day like a berk
July 22, 2009 at 8:09 pm
Matthew Prior
Got off to a flyer
By hitting the bowling
He kept the score rolling
July 22, 2009 at 8:18 pm
Stuart Broad
Will put Oz to the sword
if he’s picked at Edgbaston
With his inswinging fast ‘un
July 22, 2009 at 8:38 pm
Graeme Swann
At the nursery end came on
And wrapped up the match
Without need of a catch
July 22, 2009 at 9:31 pm
Ravi Bopara
Is no Brian Lara.
In fact it might be
He’ll be replaced at number three…
July 22, 2009 at 9:32 pm
They say Robert Key
Might come in at three
But although he can bat
He’s really quite fat.
July 22, 2009 at 9:38 pm
Ian Bell
Is suggested as well
I think he’ll get the nod
To come back into the squad
July 22, 2009 at 10:33 pm
Ben Hilfenhaus
Clean bowled Andrew Strauss
But it came far too late
To save Aus from their fate
July 23, 2009 at 12:14 am
Ricky Ponting
Would be doing a wrong thing
If he claimed umpires were cheating
Just because his side took a beating
July 23, 2009 at 9:45 am
Ben Hilfenhaus
Is a bowler with less skill than ours
And when he comes out to bat
People think “that’s the end of that”!
July 23, 2009 at 10:30 pm
An older one…
Dennis Lillee
Was made to look silly
by Derek Randall
Wielding the long handle
July 23, 2009 at 10:39 pm
Geoffrey Boycott
Made most every ball a dot
His rate of scoring
Was exceedingly boring
July 23, 2009 at 10:42 pm
Mike Gatting
Was okay at batting
but when the game was eating
Nobody gave him a beating
July 23, 2009 at 10:52 pm
Shane Warne
Would play poker till dawn
Then pick up the ball
And make batsmen look small
(Why hasn’t anybody tried any clerihews with the Sri Lanka team?)
July 23, 2009 at 10:55 pm
WG Grace
Almost covered his face
With a magnificent beard
Which today would look weird
September 14, 2011 at 11:53 pm
Shane Warne
used to party till dawn
but he goes to bed early
now that he’s met Liz Hurley
Mike Gatting
was very good at batting
but he was very folorn
when he first faced Shane Warne
Jim Laker
wanted to be a record-breaker
You can imagine his shock
when he saw the wicket taken by Tony Lock.