Advice on the Proper Response to Trump’s Tariffs
With the global financial markets falling steeply in response to Donald Trump’s tariff policy (as announced last week), world leaders will have to decide whether to introduce tariffs themselves or to try to bring the turmoil to an end through negotiation.
As regular readers of this blog will know, I have a considerable reputation for tact and diplomacy and am therefore in a good position to offer advice. My considered opinion is that, although Trump is undoubtedly a jerk, and deserves to receive a knee in a suitably painful place, a knee-jerk response should be avoided at this stage. A more effective approach would be to act in a more considered way that reflects an understanding of the views of the President of the United States.
For example, Trump has insisted that the EU imposes 39% tariffs on goods from the USA. Although in reality the figure is only 3%, I feel it would be impolite and undiplomatic to contradict such an eminent person as the President of the United States of America. Therefore, as a mark of respect and reconciliation, the EU should immediately sets its tariffs at a level of 39%. I am confident that this will lead to a speedy clarification of the economic situation.
It’s probably also best to avoid mentioning too often that Donald Trump is a convicted felon.
In the Dark 
April 7, 2025 at 10:28 pm
“Hey Ursula, this is Donald. Would I be right that the governments in Europe would like an excuse to raise taxes, while blaming someone else? Yes… I could do with some more tax revenue too, so how about a tariff war? Yes, I thought you’d reckon it was a good idea!”