Down with Fanatics!

If I had my way with violent men
I’d simmer them in oil,
I’d fill a pot with bitumen
And bring them to the boil.
I execrate the terrorist
And those who harbour him,
And if I weren’t a moralist
I’d tear them limb from limb.

Fanatics are an evil breed
Whom decent men should shun;
I’d like to flog them till they bleed,
Yes, every mother’s son,
I’d like to tie them to a board
And let them taste the cat,
While giving praise, oh thank the Lord,
That I am not like that.

For we should love the human kind,
As Jesus taught us to,
And those who don’t should be struck blind
And beaten black and blue;
I’d like to roast them in a grill
And listen to them shriek,
Then break them on the wheel until
They turned the other cheek.

by Roger Woddis (1917-1993)

6 Responses to “Down with Fanatics!”

  1. You sound like a fanatic.

  2. telescoper's avatar
    telescoper Says:

    I just reminded this quote from Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy

    “He’s a fanatic. And the fanatic is always concealing a secret doubt.”

    • Anton Garrett's avatar
      Anton Garrett Says:

      That’s a little too Popperian, ie undisprovable, for my taste. I also wonder what exactly is a fanatic? The word is never used in a positive sense, but to be implacably committed to something good (while being willing to peacably debate its goodness) is surely good?

    • telescoper's avatar
      telescoper Says:

      A fanatic is just a fan with a nervous twitch…

  3. Still pertinent, about how easy it is to lose the moral high-ground, but deliciously ironic with it!

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