I was very sad to learn yesterday of the death at the age of 96 of celebrity sex therapist Dr Ruth Westheimer, known universally as “Dr Ruth”. I remember her well from TV appearances back in the 1980s during the AIDS crisis when she was a staunch ally of the gay community. Her frank and non-judgmental approach to sex education – especially with regard to safer sex practices – probably saved many lives during that crisis. The fact that she looked like an archetypal little old lady made her use of explicit language rather shocking in a way but also extremely effective. I thought she was wonderful.
I actually had the privilege of meeting Dr Ruth. In fact, I had breakfast with her in a hotel in Reykjavik. We were both participants in a show called the Experiment Marathon which happened in 2008, before I started blogging. I still have the book of the event. Here is the list of participants, along with a picture of Dr Ruth during her contribution:
Anyway, all the participants were staying in the same hotel for this event and on the morning of my talk I came down for breakfast to find the dining room rather crowded. There was a space, however, at Dr Ruth’s table. I recognized her immediately and was a bit nervous but eventually asked if I could join her. She was absolutely charming, very friendly, extremely talkative and delightfully funny. When I was able to get a word in, I told her how much admired her work during the AIDS crisis. She was also extremely tiny, well under five foot tall.
Dr Ruth was born to an Orthodox Jewish family in Germany in 1928. When the Nazis came to power she was moved to Switzerland while her parents remained in Germany. Her father was murdered in Auschwitz; her mother also died during the Holocaust though nobody knows the details. She often said that her attitude during the AIDS crisis was informed by her knowledge that the Nazis murdered gay people too so she felt it was important to her show solidarity.
R.I.P. Ruth Westheimer (1928-2024)
In the Dark 