Archive for the Beards Category

Beard Week 2015: Pogonophobe of the Year poll

Posted in Beards with tags on June 17, 2015 by telescoper

I have been remiss in not passing on this important poll, but there’s still plenty of time to vote for Katie Hopkins..

kmflett's avatarKmflett's Blog

Beard Liberation Front

Press release 9th June contact Keith Flett 07803 167266

Beard Week seeks Pogonophobe of the Year

The Beard Liberation Front, the informal network of beard wearers, has said that it is searching for the Pogonophobe of the Year as Beard Week 2015, a celebration of hirsuteness, starts on 29th June.

In 2014 Nigel Farage, arguably the epitome of the clean shaven white man in a suit, was awarded the title.

In 2015 the BLF is running a poll to determine who should be in the frame as the beard hater of the year. Of those on the shortlist only former England rugby coach Clive Woodward and inevitably Katie Hopkins have made openly pogonophobic comments, but the others are believed to be some way from pogonophilia, the love of beards

BLF Organiser Keith Flett said, of course pogonophobia is a generally acceptable prejudice. Our aim is to make it a bit…

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A Cambridge Guest

Posted in Beards, Biographical with tags on June 16, 2015 by telescoper

So here I am in a palatial guest room in Christ’s College, Cambridge.  I’m here because I am one of the (two) External Examiners for Physics. I spent yesterday afternoon at the Cavendish Laboratory preparing for today’s Part 2 Examination Board; tomorrow we have Part 3. The role of the External Examiner is basically to oversee the whole process including the classification of the honours degrees, to try as far as possible that candidates are treated fairly, and to ensure that academic standards are upheld.

Last night there were long queues of students here and there, all dolled up in their finest. It being June, of course, it is time for May Week (which, obviously, lasts a fortnight) and the inevitable May Balls. There were fireworks all over the city last night as things kicked off in a number of locations. My own evening was spent in more modest but in its own way very agreeable style, with an excellent curry up Castle Hill and a pint in the Pickerel.

Obviously I can’t blog about the actual business of the Exam Board. In fact I can’t blog about very much at all as  a college breakfast beckons. I will however just note that it does feel a little spooky being here as a guest at this time of year for this specific reason.

Exactly 30 years ago, I was a Finalist at Cambridge enjoying all the end-of-year activities and waiting for my own degree result for Part 2 Physics. Now I am on the other side of the fence in a way I could never have imagined back in 1985. It’s a strange kind of cyclic universe sometimes.

Anyway, must get on. Long day ahead. Need that Full English.

Campaigners say ‘dirty beards’ research has whiff of pogonophobia

Posted in Beards on May 4, 2015 by telescoper

For the record I’d like to make it clear that there is no poo in my beard, not even sham poo. Geddit?

kmflett's avatarKmflett's Blog

Beard Liberation Front

PRESS RELEASE 4th May

Contact Keith Flett 07803 167266

CAMPAIGNERS SAY ‘DIRTY BEARDS’ RESEARCH HAS WHIFF OF POGONOPHOBIA

The Beard Liberation Front, the informal network of beard wearers, has said that research by John Golobic of Quest in New Mexico, widely publicised over the weekend, which purports to demonstrate that beards contain ‘poo’ has a whiff of pogonphobia about it.

The research took swabs from people’s beards which analysis showed contained faecal matter

The campaigners say it is unclear why Mr Golobic carried out the research or what his sample was. It is also unclear why he did not take swabs from people’s hair and their hands which in some cases might also have traces of dirt.

BLF Organiser Keith Flett said of course people should keep their beards shampooed, washed and clean and there are numerous beard health preparations on the market. However the ‘dirty…

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Scotland’s Geoff Cross wins Beard of Six Nations poll

Posted in Beards, Rugby on March 21, 2015 by telescoper

This is a particularly appropriate honour, as his beard is in the shape of a wooden spoon..

kmflett's avatarKmflett's Blog

Beard Liberation Front

press release  21st March

Contact keith Flett    07803 167266

SCOTLAND’S GEOFF CROSS WINS BEARD OF SIX NATIONS POLL

cross

The Beard Liberation Front, the informal network of beard wearers, has said that with the most hirsute Six Nations rugby Championship ever now concluded, a key contest, the Beard of the Six Nations, has also found a winner.

Scotland’s Geoff Cross beat Wales’s Leigh Halfpenny by several pitch lengths in the on-line poll.

Cross’s beard has been a significant hirsute presence throughout the Six Nations although according to the authoritative Sport BeardWatch, Cross is set to shave his beard for charity, prior to retiring from rugby to become a GP.

The impact of beards on the field has meant that even noted pogonophobes such as Clive Woodward who argued in 2013 on the BBC that he wouldn’t select players with beards, have remained silent on the matter this year.

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Hirsute advised to take care of the beard in snowy weather

Posted in Beards on February 1, 2015 by telescoper

Important advice to the hirsute in inclement weather..

kmflett's avatarKmflett's Blog

Beard Liberation Front

PRESS RELEASE 30th January

Contact Keith Flett      07803 167266

HIRSUTE ADVISED TO TAKE CARE OF THE BEARD  IN SNOWY WEATHER

snow

The Beard Liberation Front, the informal network of beard wearers, has issued important advice for the hirsute in the light of snowfalls in some areas of the UK

The BLF says that it is essential to keep the beard protected from snow. The best way to do this is may be to remain indoors and away from possible contact with snow.

However if venturing out in the snow, the following guidelines should be followed:-

1] Protect the beard in its entirety with a scarf or roll neck jumper

2] Sweep any drifting snow from the beard on a regular basis. Do not allow snow to accumulate in the beard

3] If the beard becomes chilled or frozen due to icy weather it is essential to thaw it…

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Conchita Wurst wins 2014 Beard of the Year poll

Posted in Beards, Biographical with tags , , , on December 29, 2014 by telescoper

Many congratulations to the fabulous Conchita Wurst, who has won the coveted title of Beard of the Year 2014. I finished in 3rd place. Huge thanks to everyone who voted for me. I’m quite chuffed to have finished in the top 5 actually, and am delighted that Conchita Wurst was the winner in the end.

In fact I was in the lead until two days before the end of polling. However, on Saturday 20th December, I checked the voting and found Conchita already was on top of me, pulling away. The resulting surge was extremely impressive and exciting to witness…

I would have happily settled for second place but then, on Monday 22nd, the last day of voting, Bartosz Bialkowski, who wasn’t on the shortlist until that point, made an unexpected appearance and quickly romped up the table. I’ve never heard of Bartosz Bialkowski before that day, actually. Apparently he plays in goal for Ipswich Town, in the Midlands. Anyway, although many will be surprised that 2nd place went to someone who isn’t among the list of official contenders, there’s no doubt he has an impressive beard and enthusiastic support from Ipswich Town supporters who no doubt were responsible both for his late inclusion in the list and in the heavy voting on Monday that relegated me to 3rd place.

Anyway, that’s it for Beard of the Year. My brief venture into the limelight is over, and I’ll now return to my normal state of well-deserved obscurity…

kmflett's avatarKmflett's Blog

Beard Liberation Front

Press release 28th December

Conchita Wurst tops Eurovision win with Beard of the Year victory

wurst

The Beard Liberation Front, the informal network of beard wearers, has said that in the best supported contest since 1995, the winner of this year’s Eurovision in May Conchita Wurst has also won the 2014 Beard of the Year poll with 33.54% of the vote.

The singer narrowly beat Ipswich Town goal keeper Bartosz Bialkowski who made a late bid for the title with 31.89% and University of Sussex academic Peter Coles who polled consistently well throughout the three weeks of the poll to end on 14.58%.

Other well known beard wearers including cricketer Moeen Ali and author Philip Ardagh also polled well.

BLF Organiser Keith Flett said, The Beard Liberation Front stands for diversity of dress and appearance and the breadth of appeal of this year’s winners underlines that. Let’s…

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Hairy End to Beard of the Year 2014 poll forecast

Posted in Beards with tags , on December 20, 2014 by telescoper

Polls close at Midnight on Monday 22nd. It seems I even have a chance of winning! But whatever the finish, you can bet it won’t be smooth!

And so it seems! During the course of today Conchita Wurst has romped into the lead!

kmflett's avatarKmflett's Blog

Beard Liberation Front

Press release 19th December

Contact keith Flett 07803 167266

Hairy end to Beard of the Year 2014 poll forecast

contenders include Philip Wilton, Conchita Wurst & Billy Bragg

wiltonwurstbragg

The Beard Liberation Front, the informal network of beard wearers, has said that with the final weekend of voting for Beard  of the Year 2014 underway, the poll looks set to get hairy.

The final weekend usually sees peak voting patterns and this year is expected to be no different.

Already around a 1000 people have cast their vote and many more are expected to do so in the next 3 days.

The on line poll ends at midnight on Monday 22nd December and the winner will be announced on 29thDecember

BLF Organiser Keith Flett said, The Award has run since 1995 and there is always a finally bristling of votes with the tallies of…

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Cricketer Moeen Ali & author Philip Ardagh on Beard of Year shortlist. Russell Brand doesnt make cut

Posted in Beards, Biographical on November 28, 2014 by telescoper

So it seems that I’ve made the shortlist for Beard of the Year 2014. No doubt many would consider it to be unseemly for me to tout for votes on this blog. All I can say to such people is VOTE FOR ME!

kmflett's avatarKmflett's Blog

Beard Liberation Front

Press release 27th November

Contact keith Flett 07803 167266

Cricketer Moeen Ali & author Philip Ardagh on Beard of Year shortlist as Russell Brand doesn’t make cut

The Beard Liberation Front, the informal network of beard wearers, has revealed the 10 names that will go forward to a poll for the Beard of the Year after a public vote eliminated such well known beard wearers as Russell Brand and Pink Floyd’s Dave Gilmour.

England cricketer Moeen Ali who has just scored the third fastest England ODI century and author Philip Ardagh are among the favourites to win the coveted Award, along with surprise contender the Bishop of Brentwood.

After an on-line vote which opens on 28th November the winners of Beard of the Year will be revealed on December 28th.

BLF Organiser Keith Flett said, it’s fair to say that competition for the Beard of the…

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The Physics Of Nonconformity: Why Difference Always Looks The Same

Posted in Beards, The Universe and Stuff with tags , , , , on November 17, 2014 by telescoper

I came across an interesting paper while I was in an unblogging state last week so thought I’d share it here. Have you ever wondered why non-conformists always seem to look the same? I was struck by this last year when I saw a group of self-styled “anarchists” – of which there are many in Brighton – gathering ahead of a demonstration against something or other, or possibly nothing at all. Anyway they all struck rigidly to a particular dress code, a fact which I found amusing given their professed preference for a state of disorder. The same seems to be the case in other contexts too. A striking current example is  the fad for the “hipster” beard, but wherever you look you will find a group of people who express their desire to be different by looking exactly the same as each other.  It seems people always want to conform in some way. Perhaps we should call this conformal invariance?

Anyway, the paper investigates this – in a slightly tonggue-in-cheek manner – from the point of view of statistical physics using an approach similar to that used to study the phenomenon of the spin glass. Here is the abstract:

In such different domains as statistical physics and spin glasses, neurosciences, social science, economics and finance, large ensemble of interacting individuals taking their decisions either in accordance (mainstream) or against (hipsters) the majority are ubiquitous. Yet, trying hard to be different often ends up in hipsters consistently taking the same decisions, in other words all looking alike. We resolve this apparent paradox studying a canonical model of statistical physics, enriched by incorporating the delays necessary for information to be communicated. We show a generic phase transition in the system: when hipsters are too slow in detecting the trends, they will keep making the same choices and therefore remain correlated as time goes by, while their trend evolves in time as a periodic function. This is true as long as the majority of the population is made of hipsters. Otherwise, hipsters will be, again, largely aligned, towards a constant direction which is imposed by the mainstream choices. Beyond the choice of the best suit to wear this winter, this study may have important implications in understanding dynamics of inhibitory networks of the brain or investment strategies finance, or the understanding of emergent dynamics in social science, domains in which delays of communication and the geometry of the systems are prominent.

Comments through the usual channel please!

 

 

Choose My Mugshot

Posted in Beards, Biographical on October 15, 2014 by telescoper

For some time now staff and students of the School of Mathematical & Physical Sciences at the University of Sussex have complained that the picture of me on my office door is of a non-bearded person. Recently therefore I made a visit to a professional photographer so he could take a picture of the hirsute me and tried his best to make me look presentable in the process. I am now told I have to pick one of the following three shortlisted photographic representations. They all suffer from the problem that they look like me, so I have no idea what to pick. I thought I’d have a bit of a laugh and see if I can crowd-source a favourite.

Here are the contenders:

 

Please vote here