As a result of an after-dinner discussion at the meeting I attended last week, I’ve decided to put a revised cosmological clerihew collection back online. I’ve removed or edited those that caused the greatest offence, and added a few new ones.
Bernard Carr
Has gone a bit far:
His Anthropic Principle
Makes theories invincible
Sean Carroll
Has me over a barrel
Because the only plausible rhyme
Plugs his new book on Time
The mind of John Barrow
Is not very narrow:
He’s more open than me
To a variable c
Stephen Hawking
Lets a machine do the talking
But even he can’t vocalize in-
side a black hole horizon.
Joe Silk
Is one of that ilk
Who writes far more articles
Than there are elementary particles
Matt Griffin
Has healthy salad for tiffin
But he’d probably expire
If something went wrong with SPIRE.
Peter Ade
Would never be afraid
To enter his name
In the citation game
Andy Lawrence
Would shed tears in torrents
If they finally got rid
Of the Astrogrid
Steve Maddox
Never eats haddocks
But he’s quite a dab hand
In the optical band
Ofer Lahav
Is awfully suave
But must be getting nervy
About the cancellation of funding for the Dark Energy Survey
Joao Magueijo
Was on the Today Show
Talking some shite
About travelling faster than light
Keith Mason
Said to Lord Drayson
“Can we have some more money?”
He replied “Don’t try to be funny…”
Andrei Linde
Felt rather windy
A peculiar sensation:
The result of internal inflation?
To rhyme Carlos Frenck
I’ve drawn a complete blenk
But I found in the lexicon
A good one for Mexican
When Andrew Jaffe
Plots a new graph he
Thinks fits his theory he’ll
Tell everyone at Imperial
Paul Steinhardt
Said “Lust not after beauty in thine heart”
But why he did so
I really don’t know
Feel free to offer your own through the comments box, after consulting the rules, although I remind you I don’t accept anonymous comments, even if they’re funny.
In the Dark 