Yesterday afternoon I arrived in a rather muggy Westminster to attend a reception at the Houses of Parliament associated with an exhibition called Unveiling the Universe in all its Light which is currently set up inside the Palace of Westminster but will later go on tour around the UK.
It took me a while to find the way in. I lived in London for the best part of 9 years but never bothered to visit the Houses of Parliament (at least not the interior), so I was quite excited as, clutching my invitation in a rather sweaty hand, I eventually joined the queue to go through the security checks. That didn’t take very long, so despite getting lost in the corridors of power en route – it’s a bit of a maze inside – I had plenty of time to see the exhibition before joining the assembled throng in the Strangers’ Dining Room. There, surrounded by walls covered in expensive but tasteless flock wallpaper, I had a couple of couples of glasses of wine and ate some posh sandwiches while chatting to various astronomers, particle physicists and others, including a contingent of familiar faces from the Science and Technology Facilities Council.
It was a coincidence, of course, that this event took place on the day that the Nobel Prize for Physics was announced; it was impressive that posters were already there celebrating the award to Peter Higgs. General opinion was delight that Higgs had won a share of the prize, but sadness that Tom Kibble had been left out.
There were upbeat speeches by Minister for Universities and Science David Willetts (who isn’t as tall as he looks on telly), Andrew Miller (Chair of the Parliamentary Select Committee on Science and Technology), John Womersley (Chief Executive of STFC) and Lord Rees (Astronomer Royal). I think everyone present came away with a strong sense that astronomy and particle physics had strong political backing. Martin Rees in particular said that he thought we were living in a “golden age” for fundamental science, involving an exciting interplay between the inner space of subatomic particles and the outer space of cosmology. I couldn’t agree more.
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5-4 ON, Fav. Colonel Muammar Gaddafi. The bookies’ favourite. Known to be seeking employment, experienced at running
EVENS. Prof. Richard Wade. Current Director of Science Programme at STFC so has good inside knowledge. His gruff northern exterior masks an interior that’s both gruff and northern. Represents continuity with existing management. Er…
13-8. Professor Brian Cocks. Some bloke off the telly. Popular with the ladies. Born in the Midlands, near Manchester. Currently the only person in the UK who knows anything about either particle physics or astronomy. Will need to stop smiling and get a different haircut, but nevertheless could be worth a punt. Good track record at recording tracks (Groan. Ed).
7-1. Andy Lawrence. American actor as well as Regius Professor of Astronomy at the University of Edinburgh (Is this right? Ed). Generally considered to be too young for the job (at 58), but known to be particularly fond of the Swindon area and rumoured to be planning to spend several weeks there in the near future. Definitely an outside chance.
10-1. Saddam Hussein. Similar credentials to the favourite. Experienced at dealing effectively with difficult people. Would be an even stronger contender had he not been executed in 2006, but lack of vital signs not thought to preclude appointment to this position. A drawback is that he is known to be highly strung. Definitely worth an outside bet, but may turn out to be a non-runner.
20-1. Steve McClaren. Rumoured to be unsettled at Nottingham Forest, so a move to Swindon Town is definitely possible in the near future (That’s the wrong STFC! Ed). Points in favour include an excellent range of miserable facial expressions, large repertoire of footballing clichés, and a remarkable track-record in management. (Now you’re just being silly. Ed.) Downsides include his remarkable track-record in management.
33-1. Keith Mason. Current Chief Executive of the Science and Technology Facilities Council and prop forward for Huddersfield Giants Rugby Leage Team (Shurely Shome Mishtake? Ed.) Probably a bit old to be a serious contender for the position but an outside chance that he might stay on for another season. Thought to be keen to complete the job that he started (unfortunately). Better the devil you know? Definitely a wild card but don’t rule him out.
50-1. BAR. Are they open yet? (You’re fired. Ed.)
In the Dark 